god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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