I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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