I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
