Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
