im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
