Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
