I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If that was your dad, he is hot
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
