I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
