So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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