How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
