i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
