Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
