your parents love me but you hate me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Green mimosas i think yes
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
