U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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