even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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