I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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