Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My liver is preforming stress tests.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
