i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
