You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
