I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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