I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She tied me up with her honor cords...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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