I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
