a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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