sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
