yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Randomize
