omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
