your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
