im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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