Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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