I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
