Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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