apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
