happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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