i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
