this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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