we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
