Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
