Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
