at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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