the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
