so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
