a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
