Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
