who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
