Pants 0. Shit 1.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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