Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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