I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
