yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
please come you make the beer taste better
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Is her dick bigger than yours?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
