How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
