dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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