its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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