You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
