i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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