I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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