Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
